I remember that when I've heard for the first time about such thing as a 'motivational group' I was quite puzzled. It sounded really weird to me - why would one need help finding something interesting to do while there are so many fun, enthralling or at least delicious things around. The group was actually needed for my nephew Mike who was, as I can see now, a computer game addict. And this made it even more strange - he perfectly knew what he wanted and wanted it as badly as a man can want.\n \n But still he was dragged to that group and forced to sit there almost two hours three times a week under the threat of being deprived of his PC. Poor kid. According to his mom, aunt Roza, the group had to motivate him to study well, so the group was not about general motivation but motivation to do 'right' things. Finally it didn't work, Mike is already in his thirties and still spends his humble salary of a shopping mall guard for buying games and upgrading his PC and looks pretty happy. His mom though is not - usually I meet them once a year on Christmas eve and each year she looks more and more desperate. She always wanted her only son to 'make his way up', be a respected man so that she could brag about him and share his photos with her kith. Finally, she wants grandsons.\n \n There is another nephew, Anthony, who also usually joins us once in a year on Christmas eve and is subject of aunt Roza's fierce envy. Good boy - studied diligently, toils hard, married, has daughter, also in his thirties, nervous, angered, depleted - middle rank manager in a building company. But his mom is also full of worries - Anthony's wife is not a match for him. Bad girl, not worth him. This seems to be quite a common obsession for men's moms so let's put it aside. And Anthony actually doesn't seem to care about his mom's rant at all. And about his wife and their daughter too. He keeps kissing them, saying 'yes honey', smiling, but without much of enthusiasm. Maybe problems at work, maybe depression, maybe he's just tired. But that's already at least five years since he looks like this. Poor boy.\n \n When they meet Mike is full of gaming news vividly shares them Anthony, bursts with jokes and laughter - they were close friends until around twelve when Anthony's mom decides to move few blocks further down to avoid Mike corrupting her son. Anthony listens calmly, nods politely but it's clear that he doesn't care about games either.\n \n And here comes the story I'm writing all this for - I've got a friend who I'm quite close with and she is absolute copy of Mike. Not in appearance of course, but in the gaming habits. We share a room and worked together couple of years (as cleaners, yeah not a job you'd dream about) so I know her pretty well - she's nice and honest woman. But she spends all her time playing on the mobile. All sorts of most stupid stuff - building farms, empires or railway corporations. When I realized this, I thought that she will be my material for psychological exercises (I dreamed about studying psychology at that time) and started a homemade 'motivation group' for her. I tried hard, as hard as she was about to move to another room so I thought to retreat. Then I switched to studying philosophy and my activity vanished bit by bit. But I still feel kind of somewhat like I've left a friend in a trouble, didn't offer enough help. On the other, more philosophical hand I understand that if she's happy the way she lives now, why should I try to force her to do something like going to college only to see getting nervous, angered, depleted in few years later? happiness is a tricky thing and a seemingly successful person can be dying inside. But the opposite is also true - whatever tired Anthony may seem he can be very well happier or, it's probably more correct to say that he's getting persistent satisfaction from his life. Finally, he can always leave his wife and daughter, quit job and play games till the end of his life, but Mike will never be able to find an interesting job and most likely will never be able to start a family. Wonders of course do happen time to time, but if a man is not used to work hard, chances that he or she will be able to reach their dream even if they find one and desperately will want to achieve it are very low. That's actually where the very evil of computer games is - they give easy accessible satisfaction without teaching to toil thus depriving gamers of their future. But why would a player need another dream if s/he is quite satisfied with the way they enjoy their lives? you know, find a job you like and you won't have to work a single day. They have no chances to find such job. Nobody is going to pay them for playing. And whatever strong it is an only passion is never enough for a happy life. One would need a family, hobby at least and both are usually impossible if something as fruitless as gaming completely overwhelms a person. family and hobby wow so much attention to my little farming :)